LOS ANGELES, CA-

O’ Son and Daughter of Noble Birth
Now the time has come for you to seek a path
As your breath stops, visions will appear
And while on this journey from life into death
If you find yourself calling out,
“Oh Lord of Great Compassion am I beautiful enough?
Am I wearing the right clothes?
Do I have the right connections to get me into where I’m going?”
To these concerns I say do not worry
Release your fears
For soon you will find experience to be the greatest teacher and healer

And while there will be those of you
Who find yourselves floating holy in Beverly Center Buddha-realm beauty

Know that there will be others
Left shuddering cold turkey in a metaphysical McArthur Park
Strung out on doubt as you try to re-enter your own body
Or the body of another again and again

Please understand this is not an option
This is the type of suffering that must be endured
There is no body that can help you now

Remember, O’ Son and Daughter of Noble Birth
You’ve brought this on
So if you’ve done wrong
You can’t go trading up karma like baseball cards
Thinking you’re gonna end up with
That prized Tommy La Sorda 1988 Dodgers World Series winner

So if you’ve lied, cheated, looted, committed a drive-by shooting
Screwed your best friend’s girlfriend, boyfriend
Left your cell phone on during a yoga class or movie
Now is the time your conscience is collecting
All those sins and numbering them
On the bones of a South LA body count

Yet, if you should find yourself in a La Brea tar pit hell
Filled with dinosaurs, saber tooth tigers
Space aliens, gang-bangers, tailgaters, and earthquakes

Don’t worry

Know that it’s merely being created
By the special effects experts at Universal Studios

To ensure your journey is the most exciting ride possible

O’ Son and Daughter of Noble Birth
Know that as you move through these afterlife streets
You will encounter many dreams and dead ends

At the blink of a camera eye you can sell a script for a million
Or lose your soul like Faulkner in Hollywood
With a name change and jeweled turban
You can reinvent yourself like Korla Pandit

Or have your own life taken
By any Manson, Menendez, or Night Stalker

Demons and protective spirits will take many forms

There will be moon-eyed Sirens of Overnight Success
Singing fleeting love songs with Angelyne in three-part harmony
There will be mandala-faced day laborers with bent backs and calloused hands
Standing at freeway off-ramps shouting:

“Espiritu d’ azucar”
Sugar spirit

“Dáme tus besos de sangre dulce”
Give me your sweet blood kisses

O’ Son and Daughter of Noble Birth
In this cross-town journey
As you approach the eternally glittering womb of the 101

Please keep an open mind as you meditate
On the connections you need to make
To ensure yourself a safe passage to that area of the city
Where you would most like to be reborn:

If it’s the Valley

Know that it has the tempting allure of Krispy Kreme
And the porn industry
But otherwise, it’s bland, flat, has way too many mini-malls
And looks like the worst parts of New Jersey

If it’s the Westside
Know that Venice has beats, hippies, love-in drunken frenzy
And Mother Ocean’s deep embrace
But the rents are incredibly expensive
And Santa Monica’s 3rd Street Promenade

Is really Dante’s Inferno

If it’s Beverly Hills
Know there’s plenty of room at the Hotel California

But you could still end up living in a mansion
With a Guatemalan housekeeper named Lucia
Who you will trust to raise your children but will still only pay minimum wage

If it’s West Hollywood
Know there are buff, beautiful fags and drag queens

But restricted parking
For those with more than six percent body fat

If it’s Hollywood
Know the hills are still filled with
The rebellious spirit of James Dean and Timothy Leary

But that down on the Boulevard they’ve Disneyfied to stay alive

If it’s Silverlake

Know there’s great Cuban coffee, artists, and rock bands
But the prices are skyrocketing
On account of the invading Westsiders
Proclaiming themselves reborn again Eastsiders

If it’s Downtown
Know there are artist lofts, Olivera Street
The Staples Center and the Lakers
But that after business hours
The whole place changes from a thriving Calcutta
Into a ghost town

And finally
If you should decide to be reborn
Anywhere near the Rampart District

Know that even after all these years
Even with all the negative press and attention

A renegade police officer
Could still decide to kill you
Without the slightest provocation

And that action alone
Could have you being reborn out in the Valley
Whether you liked it or not

And if after all this
You still have your doubts about where to reside
In this afterlife LA

Know that as Lord Stravinsky once said:
“The only way to escape LA is to be in LA”

So before your last breath check out
Be sure to check out your heart’s true calling

If it’s singing cross party lines
Breaking hypes and stereotypes

That’s fine

You can be a non-rapping Caucasian in Leimert Park
A non-burrito eating African American in East LA

A non-housecleaning Chicano living in the Palisades

But if somewhere along your spiritual journey
You consult your Thomas Guide to find
That maybe you missed your last exit to Status Town
Well don’t let it get you down
’Cause more than any Malibu beach house

You need to set your sights
On that transference to pure space
The place where you can feel total release

And O’ Son and Daughter of Noble Birth
Even though you’re tired from your many journeys

You must still find the energy
To transform yourself into an Echo Park Lake lotus flower

That can be offered to the Buddha of Complete Joy

For this is the Buddha
That will keep you moving towards the lights

The spotlights slashing your afterlife skies

These are the lights calling you to the greatest premiere of all

The eternal party
Where you are the star

Where you are walking down the red carpet

Where you are smiling and waving to the cameras

And we as your adoring friends and fans
Can’t help but to hang on to your every word, your every action
Wondering what you will say

And where you will go next

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 13th, 2006 at 9:16 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.